As I've become more open with my trichotillomania I find it hard to NOT talk about it which is pretty funny because that used to be my worst nightmare! Look what a little self-acceptance can do to you. Anywho. . .
Recently I've noticed people either playing with their hair in a very trichotillomania-particular way or having missing areas and I struggle with what to do. Part of me wants to reach out—physically reach out by touching their arm and say, "Hey, I do that too." While another part of me understands that I can't. I just can't.
The first reason is obvious: I don't know if they actually have trichotillomania or not. Many people play with, pull, and/or pick at their hair/skin without it being considered a body-focused repetitive behavior (BFRB). I couldn't possibly assume they have it just by observing them—no matter how clear it seems to me.
Another reason is I don't know where they are on their journey. Maybe they're trying their hardest not to do the behavior and then I ruin it all by approaching them. I kept my trichotillomania secret for most of my life. I never had this happen to me but I can't imagine I'd have a positive reaction if a stranger came up to me and said "I also have trichotillomania." I'd most likely give them a dirty look and respond with, "I have no idea what you're talking about." I'm from Philly after all. We aren't known as being the friendliest toward strangers.
So I keep my thoughts to myself and hope the algorithm brings them to me if I'm someone they're looking for.
Would you want someone to approach you about your trichotillomania?
Yes. I think I would like that.
No. I don't think I'd like that.
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