Riding the trichotillomania rollercoaster: How do I get off?

Roller coasters come in all different shapes and sizes with unique twists and turns—your trichotillomania journey will feel the same way.

At its worst, trichotillomania can be all consuming. Hair becomes all you think about. Your hands cramp from the constant pulling you’re doing. It’s brutal: physically and emotionally. Your first thought most likely is: how do I stop this thing?

There isn’t a simple answer. 

But here’s how I got off. 

I got to know my trichotillomania

I stopped trying to push my trichotillomania to the back of my mind. Instead, I paid more attention to it and started to learn from it. After each flip of the rollercoaster I asked it questions and listened to its answers. 

After one particularly tough pulling session, a dive loop, I looked at myself with bald eyelids and said, “tell me why.” At first I only heard, “I don’t know.” I wasn’t taking that as an answer so I started asking questions. 

I found out that spending time with a certain person made me want to pull more. They triggered me. Now what?

I started preparing for moments when I’d most likely engage in my trichotillomania

Finding out what tools work and where they work has been super helpful. 

The person I mentioned above is someone I’ll continue to see so I’ve started preparing myself—I do relaxation and breathing exercises, I get home and jump in the shower (I don’t pull out wet hair), I speak openly with my husband, and I keep my hands busy by doing crafts or brushing my dog.

But those tools can’t always be used so in other areas, like sitting at my desk, I wear tape on my index fingers, a baseball cap, my Keen2, and have certain fidgets I can use. 

Going into a situation as prepared as possible not only makes me feel more in control of my trichotillomania, I also have more success that way.

I am kind to myself after I pull

The easiest way to break the vicious cycle we experience, the corkscrew, is by being kind to myself after I pull. 

Sometimes pulling happens without us even knowing until the hair is already in our fingers and touching our lips, so I’m definitely not beating myself up when that happens! Why? Because if I make myself feel bad I will continue to pull! My need to engage in my trichotillomania is now happening because I need to self-soothe from myself! Make it make sense!

As simple as these strategies sound—they're not something that can happen overnight. I've been living with trichotillomania for 23 years and the biggest changes in my journey have happened within the last decade! It takes time. No putting unnecessary pressure on ourselves! Baby steps will still take you in the right direction.